The Queer Mandalorian: My Song

(verse 1)

Do you know who you are / (know who you are)

When you see yourself in the mirror

It’s like a knife in your back / (knife in your back)

Twisting your thoughts into anger

You’ve lost all control

And you’re gasping for air

(chorus)

Reaching for my cyanide

‘Cause I know that my spirit is broken

I'm reaching for my cyanide

‘Cause I’ve lost the will to even contend

But I’m gonna turn my life over to You

Because I want to be made new

Reaching out to you

(verse 2)

Can you see what it’s done (what it’s done)

This anger has misled you

Are you too far gone (too far gone)

And you wonder if there’s any hope left for you

You try to let go

Yet you’re gasping for air

(chorus)

Reaching for my cyanide

‘Cause I know that my spirit is broken

I'm reaching for my cyanide

‘Cause I’ve lost the will to even contend

But I’m gonna turn my life over to You

Because I want to be made new

I'm reaching out to you

(bridge)

You say that

In order to truly follow You

We need to learn that

Our life is not our own

We need to learn that

Our life is not our own

So this is me

Yeah this is me

Letting You take over

(chorus)

Reaching for my cyanide

‘Cause I know that my spirit is broken

I'm reaching for my cyanide

‘Cause I’ve lost the will to even contend

But I’m gonna turn my life over to You

Because I want to be made new

I'm reaching out to you

Reaching for my cyanide

‘Cause I know that only You can change me

I'm reaching for my cyanide

‘Cause You’ve loosed the bonds and set me free

And now I am made new

Because I have turned my life over to You

I’m reaching out to you

MEANING:

This song was born out of a verse in the song "Shelter" by Jars of Clay:

"If there is any peace, if there is any hope

We must all believe, our lives are not our own"

Which coincides with this Bible verse, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV:

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."

Also some inspiration came from the book of Job

Job 17:1

"My spirit is broken. My days are extinguished, The grave is ready for me"

Job 39: 5

"Who set the wild donkey free? Who loosed the bonds of the onager,"

This song is about giving up ourselves. Giving up the things of this world that drag us down, that make us sin, and keep us from God. Please read behind the lyrics, it is NOT about suicide, but it IS about killing the humanity that causes us to falter in our walk with Him. The "mirror" mentioned in the first verse is a big part of the song. You might think it's from 2 different points of view, but it's the same person speaking throughout the song. The person they are, and the person looking back from the mirror, the person they want to be... the voice of sanity in an insane world. It's a duality, and I believe we all deal with that... the person we are versus the person we want to be. Also note that the chorus changes at the end to signify the growth of the person.